The unknowns

We have this new conversation going on the house.  Well, it is not new, but it has come back to face us again.  The conversation goes something like this.  "I wish we knew more about their mother," Valerie says.  I say, "me too, but we don't."  In fact we know nothing except that she showed up for court 3 times to relinquish their rights.  Wow, can you imagine having to do that 3 times?  Even on the worst of worst days, I can not imagine doing it once.  This woman had courage.  This woman had fear.  This woman had strength.  This woman most likely had no other option in the world that she lives in.

After spending 5 weeks in the DRC, I have a better understanding of life in that part of the world.  There are some many words that would describe it, but not nearly enough would convey what people actually live through.  It is the heart of Africa.  A beautiful and magical place.  Filled with sounds and wonders that you can only imagine after being there.  The air can be heavy, yet light with fragrances of flowers and dust.  The people are strong.  They long for a better life.  They are spiritual in nature.  I think Africa does that to you.

So after spending 5 weeks in a city that could chew me up, I have learned this about their mother.  She was beautiful in heart.  She cared enough to give them a "better place" to live in.  She cared for their well being.  She desired that they live.  She was strong in stature.  She was humble enough to know that she could not care for her girls.  She was filled with joy at the thought of her children thriving and not just surviving.  She was able to conquer fear in the midst of knowing she would never see her daughters again.  Her fears gave way to desire.  Desire of hope and dreams that she could never fulfill as a mother.

Now the tangible parts of what I or we don't know?  Who is this woman that could return to court three times to relinquish her daughters?  What does she look like?  What is her life like?  How many children does she have?  What caused her to give them up?  Did she have a choice, or more accurately, was it her choice?  Did she have any idea where her daughters were headed?

So many questions, and we will never know unless one of us goes back and attempts to track her down.  She is already in her 40's.  In the DRC, this is getting close to the average lifespan.  Will we have time to do this, I don't know?  Is it safe to do this, I don't know?  All I do know is that we have two beautiful daughters that were born to fit into this home.

There are parts of me that would have loved to have paid a monthly sum to keep the family together.  I don't know that is realistic, based on the tangibles that can be associated with the DRC.  Life there can be down right miserable for women.  I love the thought of keeping the family together, but I hate the thought of not having them as part of our family.

So, as I finish this, I promise these things to our birth mother.  I promise to raise these girls as my own.  I promise to protect them at all costs.  I promise to wipe every scrape and kiss every tear.  I promise to give them my all, as you have given us your all.  I promise that they will have every opportunity to thrive.  I promise to love them as you would.  I promise all of these and more to you, because you gave us the the opportunity to complete these promises when you went to court each and every time.