New Experiences

I think the best part of adopting older children is new experiences.  Now, I am a newbie at this, so please don't tell me there are better right now.  I have been telling you that I am going to post new pictures, so here they are.  I am finding joy in the little things of life now.  This does not always happen in this crazy world.  We get caught up in the minutia of life and sometimes we get lost.  Please enjoy the pics of our new family as we experience new things together.  

Uncomfortable feelings

The 2 Maries?: Uncomfortable feelings

The2Maries.blogspot.com

Uncomfortable feelings

We have returned home to what you would call a happy ending.  All of the children are adjusting to the "new" family rather well.  Our biggest obstacle at this point is the animals, and we are making progress daily with this one.  So why write anything at all?

Let me tell you of my current struggle.  I want to be in the box again.  We have returned to the land of too much, and I am struggling with this.  I look around our home and I find things that can either be given away or tossed.  Don't get me wrong, I still feel materialistic, but something has changed.  Where I used to see happiness in something new, I now see excess and the eventual filling of the trashcan.

I recently received a gift card from my mother in law for my belated birthday, and now I want to spend it.  The real question comes down to how I spend it.  What do I want?  What do I need?  Do I need anything at all?  I am now confronted with a real life decision.  What do I do with my excess?

I really do miss the box we lived in.  It was so simple.  Life was simple.  I want to keep that perspective.  Preparing for my youth group tonight, I realized that God wants me to tell my story of the DRC all over again.  The story prayer and miracles.  Does prayer work?  Do miracles really happen?

First hand experience tells me that both prayer works and miracles happen.  Do they happen how we want them to?  Not always.  In fact, sometimes it looks like nothing is happening at all.  Why pray when you don't see results?  Why? Prayer is connection.  Connection with our Creator.  It is like picking up our cell phone and having a direct connection to the One who loves us.

Living in our little room in the DRC, I found this connection to be an important part of my day.  It was essential.  Now that I am back, I feel that it is still essential, but now it can get lost in the minutia of the day.  I find that I am having to sneak it in, rather than making it a purposeful part of my day.  Perhaps that what having 3 year olds does to you.  Perhaps, I am just lazy and feel comfortable in my big elaborate home.  Honestly, I know I need it.  I feel more likely to get frustrated by the little things.

Okay, God, put me back in the box please.  Let me feel the squeeze of the box so I can realize that there is more than me.  Challenge me daily so I grow.  Let me learn just like my girls are learning English;  trial and error.  Much more trial would be better though.  Just like my girls constantly asking what something is, God let me ask more of you so that you can ask more of me.

Finishing for today, I am struck by how God can open our eyes to things we have not seen before.  As I was preparing for my youth sermon, I wanted to look at the passage where God to me no more delay. As I was writing this I looked down and saw Ezekiel 12.  I never read the beginning when I was in the DRC.  What does it talk about?  Exile!!  Packing up for God.  I have a feeling that this is about to become epic.  I have a feeling that this journey is not done.  Perhaps we have just begun.  

New Awakenings

It has been a while since posting.  Since we have returned from the DRC we have gone back to "regular" life.  Ok, not normal with the two new additions to our home.  However, our new normal is going rather well.  I can honestly say that these girls were born for our family.  I know that this may sound funny, but it is true.  If they only spoke fluent English, then you would never know they were adopted.

It's funny.  They get along well with our girls.  No, strike that, they love our biological girls and our biological girls love them.  It's funny how you can learn to love someone in just 7 short weeks.  Like I said, if they did not speak Swahili, I would forget that we adopted them.  I must say, that things are almost perfect.  Is this the adjustment period?  Maybe the honeymoon period?  Whatever it is, it is wonderful.

Honestly, this has been the greatest adventure that we have been on.  I can't imagine not having these girls in our life now.  I can't believe it took so long for me to agree to adopt.  Isn't that how it is?  We always tend to resist the greatest parts of our life, until then we realize that it is the greatest part of our life.

The more I go over our story, the more I can see that God had a wonderful plan for our life.  It has been a crazy and wild plan, but I am glad that we agreed to do this.  Each day we wake, we look forward to new things with them.  I think the hardest part of this journey?  Keeping up with the blog.

When Valerie returned to work, I felt like a single parent until she came home.  I don't know how anyone could take care of 4 kids on their own consistently.  Somedays I feel that I struggle just to keep up with the dishes.  So, as I struggle with the small things of life, I am glad to wake up to smiling faces and new adventures.  I will post pics later.  Have to take them pee again.  

The "new" normal

Well, I guess it has been a while since my last post.  It was so crazy getting home that we have just been keeping our head above water.  We have managed to unpack and get things somewhat squared away.  Life seems to be the "new" normal.

What is the new normal?  Good question.  I currently consists of waking up to smiling kids.  That is, all but our oldest if she is awaken too early.  Next, is the egg breakfast.  How many times can you have eggs before you tire of them?  Guess we will find out.  The next part of the routine is getting dressed and going outside for a while.  Sometimes this means we go to a park or just play around the house.  Then lunch.  After lunch it is nap time.  Nap time gets morphed into cleaning the house and free time for the older girls.  Nap time over already?  Okay, snack and back outside again until dinner.

I did forget to mention that I have been a single parent until the evening.  We thought this was really going to be a challenge since Josie really does not like me at times.  However, she has done really well and has been working through her issues with me.  We are not perfect, but at least we are trying.

In fact, they don't even talk about their mom when she is at work.  When she does arrive they seem confused that she has magically appeared.  I know that this is how she wants it, but I think she was hoping for a little more fanfare when she returns home.

Anyway, the girls are doing well.  It is though they have lived here all of their life, except for the fact that they speak a different language and they are afraid of the animals in the home.  That will change.

Today was immunization day.  They have already had their blood drawn this week, and now immunizations.  What a long week it has been for them.  However, we did find out that they are currently malaria free.  Praise God for that one.

There are no spiritual elements to tonight's blog, just keeping our head above water.  Sometimes that is what you have to do in life.

Home

30 hours of traveling and a wonderful reception to our beloved Durango.  We are home.  It was a long trip filled with crying, fear, exhaustion and finally jubilation.  We almost did not make it out of the country on Thursday.  The paperwork was delayed and it was truly only a miracle of God that we were able to get the paperwork and get to the airport in time.

The airport in Kinshasa is the craziest place I have ever flown from.  It was so fast paced due to us arriving late, we almost left all of our adoption papers in the airport lounge.  Thankfully Valerie asked me before we walked out of the lounge.  Not only did I drop those, but I dropped my bag with my wallet and all of the cash we had left.  This would have been extremely problematic with no credit cards, etc......  Someone was looking out for us.

The ride to the airport was eventful.  Josee vomited on Valerie twice.  They routed on coming traffic onto our side of the road and there was a horrendous traffic jam.  Think New York City with carts being pushed in the middle of the traffic.  Traffic was so bad, our driver ran into the back of another car.  Luckily, no damage.  So, as you can imagine, it was a terrible ride there.

Once we were on the plane we felt comfortable.  Almost a let down.  We were now saying bye to the place we had just spent 5 weeks praying to leave.  Not only were we saying goodbye to the DRC, but to our girl's home.  This is bittersweet, feeling like we are saving them, but also ripping them away from all they have known.

The plane rides were uneventful, which is great considering how we started.  Each time we landed, we told the girls how many more flights we had before going home.  Each time we landed we did something new.  Lunch in Newark NJ, was McDonalds.  We don't normally eat there, but it is a right of passage.  Ben and Jerry ice-cream in Denver.  $10 for ice-cream that they really did not eat.  Awesome.

Let me quickly back up.  Arriving at NJ was interesting as we had to go through immigration.  We were hoping all of the paperwork was correct and that there would be no delays.  We spent a total of 10 minutes with immigration.  Most of it was just waiting in line to talk with the officers.  All paperwork done completely with no problems.

Finally around 9:30pm we arrived in Durango to a hall filled with family and friends.  This was a wonderful experience.  The girls had just woken up, but we not crying when they met everyone.  Josee did go to her normal pouty face and Natalie just looked at everyone.  We must have spent nearly and hour at the airport when Natalie decided that she wanted to get down and play with her toys on the floor.  She played and we talked and then they began to shut off lights.  Natalie did decide that she wanted to go to my dad before we left.  That was a big moment.

Today has been eventful.  We all went to bed around 1am because Kate and Abby were not home yet.  They arrive around 11:30 and then the girls became wound up like eating straight sugar.  This was a wonderful sight.  They were letting the girls pick them up and they were all laughing.  Of, course the laughter ended each time the girls saw the cats.  Shrieking and wailing every time a cat came near.  Poor cats.  They just want to love them.

We had one outing to the doctors office.  We went for immunizations, but we ended up just getting scripts for blood work.  Shots to come later.  Of course the ride there was interesting.  They rode in booster seats last night with no problems, they are really to little so we put them in car seats.  This was twenty minutes of screaming and pulling their arms out as we went to the doctor.  Of course they wore themselves out with all of that.  So now I write this as Natalie is out for nap number 2 or 3 today.

The girls are doing well.  We are figuring this thing out and life is moving forward.  As for the girls coexisting with the animals in the house;  well, that will come in time.  Thank you for the prayers and all of the support.  We definitely needed it.  

We are coming HOME!!!!!!!

The internet connection has been down due to a malfunctioning air conditioner, which leaked all over the router and the connection point.  We also run out of minutes on our in country cell phone.  Is this a sign?????   Maybe it is time to leave.  We are leaving tomorrow night.  Our flight goes out at 8:30pm and we will arrive in Durango around 10:00pm on Thursday night baring flight delays.

We have told the girls that we are going home.  We have shown them pictures and have a had many conversations with Kate and Abby.  We are all ready.  So as I sign off tonight, please pray for safe travels, quick reentry to the US and little to any crying, fussing, lost luggage, mental breakdowns, lost items, etc...........

Thank you for loving us and following us on this adventure.  It has only begun.

Darren, Valerie, Kate, Abby,Josee and Natalie

The David Analogy

So as I write today, we are coming to an end in the DRC.  We don't know when it is exactly, but we are hoping that it will be Wednesday.  After spending nearly a month here, we have been changed.  We discussed this change during nap time today.

How do we take all we have learned while here?  How do we remember that we live in a land of comfort?  How do we remember that we need God when things are going well?  How to live out of a sense of poverty while actually being wealthy?  Will I remember the stomach pangs when I am back?

These all are questions that challenge me today.  I have found hunger and lack of control to be a stimulus to learn to depend on God.  A struggle for sure.  However, it is so easy to return to the everyday feeling of control as soon as I hit the ground in the US.  I know this, and this is why I am questioning myself now.

Valerie and I had a great conversation today about our in country guy, David.  David is like Jesus to us.  I know that may sound blasphemous, but I mean it in a respectful sincere way.  Since landing, we have depended on David for everything.  He has provided transportation, guidance, representation, and at one point he put his life on the line with the local authorities.  There are many times that we don't see David, or talk to him for days.  This allows us to think that he must not be doing anything.  Maybe he is kicking back enjoying life in the DRC.  However, this is not the case.

David's job is to represent us.  To take our case to the authorities and to get us out of here ASAP.  When we don't talk with David, he is doing these things.  He is working behind the scenes.  He is quietly and diligently working on our behalf.  You would never know this if we did not ask him.  He is not one to call up and say "look what I did on your behalf."  In fact, if you want to know what is David is doing, you have to ask him.

Can you see how David is a good analogy for Jesus?  He has done all of this for us.  He represents us to His father constantly.  He took our sins upon Him so we could be washed of all that covered us.  He does so much behind the scenes that we never know.  How would we know if we don't talk to Him?  How would we know if we don't seek Him, like we have to David?

When I started this blog, it was supposed to be one of working through the process of adoption, but as I have written it, it became a blog of following and leaning on God.  I never intended this to be a spiritual blog, and I am sure that I may have lost some readers as a result of it.  However, this has changed us.  This has put a stamp on our life that can not be hidden.

Initially, I wrote early on that this is a blog of obedience.  I still believe that, but I would also say that this has become a blog learning how to live.  A blog of learning how to not only depend on God, but those He has placed in your life.  A blog of learning how to live simply.  A blog of learning to give.

We return soon, and I want you to know that this could not have been done without the people behind the scenes.  There are so many of you.  Too many to name or even mention.  In fact, there are many I don't even know.  So many people praying.  So many people crying.  One twelve year old that had the dream of getting two orphan girls that she did not know home.

I thought we could do this on our own.  I was wrong.  I was thankfully wrong.  Thank you for showing me that I was wrong.  Thank you for loving me through my stubborn ways.  Thank you for taking care of us.