So we have our date of departure again. At least we hope we do. Hard to trust this one after all of the disappointments we have gone through. I must admit there are times when it feels like we have placed ourselves in the hamster ball just to spin around and never actually be able to touch the ground. You know that hamster ball. We all want to get in one sometime, but we don't want to stay there. We want to move forward and be protected, but we want to experience life also.
What happens when life forces you back into the hamster ball? Do you roll with it or do you squeeze out of the hole and put your feet on the ground. I can tell you that right now the hamster ball sounds appealing. I could protect myself and not feel any pain, frustration, etc.... Placing myself in the hamster ball, while my wife and children are crying out from the pain waiting would be awesome, but I know this is temporary. Putting myself in the hamster ball and not letting my friends reach out to me is pretty appealing right now. I can take care of this. I can fix this. Blog over......
Reality has now set in. I must experience all of this. I must feel the pain of not being able to attain something on my own. What we are going through on this end is nothing compared to the two Maries. If I feel this bad about waiting one more month, imagine how they feel knowing that they have a family that has given them away for adoption. Is our pain real? Yes, but I honestly don't know how I can begin to think this delay is really a big deal when I look at their life.
I know where my food is coming from. I know that for the most part I am safe. I know that I am loved.
Perhaps the hardest part about this delay, is that we have to continue to trust that everything will be okay. I am guessing that is the same for my two little girls in the DRC. Right now I imagine that they trust their foster mom. I hope that soon they will learn to trust us. I look forward to that day.
I also look forward to seeing their face when they gaze upon the whiteness of us. I imagine how many hours they will touch Valerie's blonde hair. I imagine holding them and telling them in a foreign language that everything is okay. I imagine taking very long flights home and navigating TSA and immigrations. I imagine the meeting between them and our biological daughters. I imagine a lot. Perhaps that is the problem with our delay, I just can't wait.
I only imagine how this is so with God. He is constantly waiting on us. He is constantly asking us to trust Him. Why can't you get this one, He asks? Trust and imagination seem to go hand in hand with this adoption.
Sorry, if this is a ramble. This process has been a delightful challenge. I would not wish it on anyone, except to say that it has really challenged us to trust in God and rely on others as we never had before. This is good. No, this is great. I want this next month to go fast, but I do not want to miss out on putting each day first.
We will be with you soon Marie. I mean Maries.
What happens when life forces you back into the hamster ball? Do you roll with it or do you squeeze out of the hole and put your feet on the ground. I can tell you that right now the hamster ball sounds appealing. I could protect myself and not feel any pain, frustration, etc.... Placing myself in the hamster ball, while my wife and children are crying out from the pain waiting would be awesome, but I know this is temporary. Putting myself in the hamster ball and not letting my friends reach out to me is pretty appealing right now. I can take care of this. I can fix this. Blog over......
Reality has now set in. I must experience all of this. I must feel the pain of not being able to attain something on my own. What we are going through on this end is nothing compared to the two Maries. If I feel this bad about waiting one more month, imagine how they feel knowing that they have a family that has given them away for adoption. Is our pain real? Yes, but I honestly don't know how I can begin to think this delay is really a big deal when I look at their life.
I know where my food is coming from. I know that for the most part I am safe. I know that I am loved.
Perhaps the hardest part about this delay, is that we have to continue to trust that everything will be okay. I am guessing that is the same for my two little girls in the DRC. Right now I imagine that they trust their foster mom. I hope that soon they will learn to trust us. I look forward to that day.
I also look forward to seeing their face when they gaze upon the whiteness of us. I imagine how many hours they will touch Valerie's blonde hair. I imagine holding them and telling them in a foreign language that everything is okay. I imagine taking very long flights home and navigating TSA and immigrations. I imagine the meeting between them and our biological daughters. I imagine a lot. Perhaps that is the problem with our delay, I just can't wait.
I only imagine how this is so with God. He is constantly waiting on us. He is constantly asking us to trust Him. Why can't you get this one, He asks? Trust and imagination seem to go hand in hand with this adoption.
Sorry, if this is a ramble. This process has been a delightful challenge. I would not wish it on anyone, except to say that it has really challenged us to trust in God and rely on others as we never had before. This is good. No, this is great. I want this next month to go fast, but I do not want to miss out on putting each day first.
We will be with you soon Marie. I mean Maries.
Darren and Valerie - you guys continue to blow me away. You were definitely handpicked for this. What a privilege it has been to watch you and your ongoing faithful response to God's plan. I had been seeking a mentor for Margo for such a long time. Never did I dream that God would share you guys and your crazy story with all of us. This is so much better than anything I could have dreamed up to help further develop Margo's faith. You are so beautiful and such fantastic models for all of us. Thank you ever so much! Love and hugs to you!
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